The best conversation I’ve had since the split:

Checking out at Best Buy, pulling up my rewards account

Is it under Austin? 

No, Lacy Llana.

Oh, here it is. Is Austin a relative? 

Nah, ex husband. Would prefer him not to get those points. 

…How old are you? 

Old enough to have an ex husband. 

I know, I know – it was a tad bit snarky. In my defense, the cashier was asking some personal questions while I was just trying to get a Steam gift card.

I’ve discovered that I lean pretty heavily on humor as a coping mechanism. Irony has always been something I’ve appreciated, which is probably a good thing in this moment since at times life feels a bit like a bad joke.

There are also a few more holes in my filter that used to be so well maintained prior to all of this. I really want to handle this with grace and tact, but telling him that I hoped she enjoys the 5 minutes of sex he can muster more than I did felt so good in the moment.

I mean, I have held back some things I’ve been tempted to say. For example, I didn’t tell him that size is useless when you don’t know what to do with it. I didn’t tell him that no one who is a respectable adult is impressed with his high school football rings. My tongue held back the comment about no longer fearing not finding anyone better than him, because I could throw a rock blindfolded and hit someone who would treat me better. I left out the part about how ironic it is that 6 months ago he was telling me how he wasn’t attracted to this girl at all – that she was inferior to me in every way. See, there’s that appreciation of dark humor I’ve got.

Life is just funny sometimes. Sometimes we laugh so we don’t cry.