I got closure tonight. It didn’t come in a way I had expected, and perhaps there are still tears to come from the sucker punch I received, but I feel like I have a much fuller picture of the truth than I ever did.

I was told that the dogs weren’t being taken care of. I opened up a conversation with him, and I ended up with far more information that I had bargained for. After driving back to the house, I definitely see it all.

He is living with the girl he cheated with. Let me tell you, walking through a house that you designed that is filled with a life that isn’t yours is surreal.

I’ve never been a fan of God’s timing. I know that’s not how I’m supposed to feel, but I joke about it because I know He knows how impatient I am. There’s no point in acting like I always respond correctly, or that my obedience isn’t begrudging at best sometimes – an all-knowing God sees all of this in me anyways. However, it is in moments like these where I finally get given clarity that I become thankful for timing that I once hated.

In December of last year, I had a miscarriage. It was early on, but traumatic nonetheless. I was heartbroken. I get it now, and I’m so thankful that there isn’t a child having to know the pain of a broken family in all of this. There’s no such thing as a good time for a life to fall apart, but I suppose as far as this goes, things could have been so much worse.

This is closure. I’m sitting here still with dry eyes. I don’t wonder anymore if the man I thought I married was still there somewhere. I have my answer. I don’t understand the timing or purpose of everything that is happening in my life right now, but I’m not a person who believes that everything has a reason. I do believe that no matter the situation, it can be used for something better. For the first time, I truly feel like there is something better ahead. It isn’t too hard to get better than a pathological liar who stole 6 years of your life.